That's Not My Age has been feeling a bit hair-brained all week. Two things happened that got me thinking about the mid-life, cut-off point for long hair. A friend emailed me a link to a feature in The New York Times entitled, 'Why Can't Middle-Aged Women Have Long Hair?' - I read it and immediately booked a hair cut. Then on Friday night, Mr & Mrs TNMA went to see The Kids Are All Right. Which is brilliant, potentially Oscar-winning and very funny, you should all go see it. Not only did the TKAAR warm the cockles, but it confirmed my theory: middle-aged women look good with both long and short hair. But good-looking long hair really depends upon the quality of the hair - and what you do with it. So you see, Julianne Moore looks amazing with her glossy, sleek, fabulously-coloured hair - even when she's wearing a khaki gardener's hat. But, Annette Bening's choppy, face-framing blonde crop looks equally gorgeous too.
Personally speaking, the older I get, the shorter my hair becomes. And I'm quite happy about that. It looks smarter and is easier to maintain - and the last time I went out with my one long-haired friend, it took her three hours to get ready! That's Not My Age did have really long hair once, about 20 years ago - but these days, I range from collar-length to shoulder-skimming depending on how frequently I drag my lazy ass down to The Hairdressers.
What the experts say
So, yesterday, whilst getting the chop, I took the opportunity to ask Guy the Hairdresser if he thought middle-aged women could wear their hair long. This is what he said:
1. Yes, sometimes. But it depends on the quality of the hair and how it's styled - long grey hair can look amazing if it's properly looked after. Gallery owner, Victoria Miro always looks good...
2. But shorter, lighter or more layered hair can make you look younger.
3. The texture of hair changes as we age and so a decent cut freshens it up. Sometimes longer hair can make you look frumpy. (No photo to accompany this, That's Not My Age doesn't do frumpy)
4. It really does depend on the person. If they've got a good image and smart clothes to start with, then long hair can look fantastic.
Read The New York Times article here, and let me know what you think. Middle-aged women, long or short hair?
Photos
Julianne Moore & Anette Bening: Alliance Films
Victoria Miro: Suki Dhanda
Mariella Frostup: Contact Music
Tilda Swinton: Getty Images
Halle Berry: Wenn
Kristen McMenamy: American Vogue
It just totally depends from person to person, I think. At 34, I have the same longish straggly hair I've had for the last ten or so years. I'd definitely look younger with it shorter and bobbed, but it's just a mental leap to get it chopped.
ReplyDeleteBloody hell, the Frostrup is gorgeous.
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ReplyDeleteI love La Frostrup's cut.
ReplyDeleteAfter having a Halle Berry crop most of my 20s, I grew mine long and then got it chopped to jaw length.
I'm craving long hair again as I head towards my 42nd year.
I think condition and cut is everything.
LBB x
Thanks for writing this. Today, I was 100% grossed out by all the supportive letters the Times ran from people saying "I haven't cut my waist length hair in decades!" Yeah, well, it's probably disgusting! At school, I had to live for one summer with a girl who had hair that went to the back of her knees. It was foul -- full of split ends. She couldn't wash it herself -- her boyfriend had to help her in the shower and you should have SEEN what she left in the drain. I still want to hurl just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteI feel like short hair isn't necessarily the answer after a certain age, but likewise long hair isn't always right either! It depends on how it looks on the person and the health of the hair itself.
As a child in the 70's I had the enforced boy/bowl cut (what was my mother thinking?). Once old enough to pay for my own haircuts I embraced the 80's big, long hair, and sometimes think that I hanker after that era in my life? I am still holding on to longish hair and often question the age thing, but with thick, strong hair It can look very 'set' if cut too short. You have got me thinking again....
ReplyDeleteIt depends not only on your hair, but on the shape of your face and what your features are like as well. I had short hair in the 80s (when I was in my 20s) and eventually realized I just don't have the bone structure for short hair. It's now a few inches below shoulder-length and very well cared for. If I got a short haircut now I would definitely look older.
ReplyDeleteAgain it all depends on the person, their style and the state of their hair.
ReplyDeleteI remember seeing a 60-ish year old lady on the beach when I was young, she undid her topknot and out tumbled the most beautiful waist length hair, she looked so fabulousy glamorous and I've held that image in my head for ever.
I had mine cut to my shoulders when I reached 25 and totally hated myself (a bloke I knew actually accused me of "selling out" and looking conventional), I don't think I could ever do it again, besides I reckon Jon'd dump me. xxx
Hi there-such lovely different styles here, loving Mariellas and Halles. I do love short hair, but wearing a frumpy uniform and hat for work would make me feel too boyish which is why I stick with long hair, especially now I've found a brilliant hairdresser!
ReplyDeleteI'll be sticking to long for good regardless of what anyone or any publication has to say on the matter - I have naturally curly hair that looks ridiculous short.
ReplyDeleteI must see the film. It really looks good.
ReplyDeleteAbout hair, it depend on how you see yourself. When I had mine long it was always in a pony tail.I find shoter hair easier to style.
I have a hairdresser friend who will do what I tell her to. I am my own stylist. I do not follow fashion, I follow what I like and looks good on me.
Un abrazo.
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Had earmarked this film as one I have to see soon when I was reading about it earlier this year. So looking forward to it.. Hmmm, as for hair well... as you say, depends on the condition but I do think really, really long hair is a tad aging. My old boss in UK had long hair which she always wore up in a 'do - (it was a good shade of grey though) but one day the bun came tumbling down - ooooh errrr - well, I have to say she would have needed NO fancy dress last night. Witch wasn't in it!! X
ReplyDeleteIn my teens and 20s I experimented with long, short, permed and coloured. Into my 30s it was long and permed once a year (very straight otherwise). I liked the versatility of long hair, genearlly wearing a french plait for work. But I cut my hair to shoulder length after the birth of Eldest, and to chin level after Youngest. At 40 I had it cut short. For me this has been perfect: there is less grey on show and it requires little attention, I don't even have to comb it.. I just have to get it cut regularly. Haven't chosen to colour it so far.
ReplyDeleteBut I think your commentators are right: it largely depends on condition and we probably shouldn't think we can set rules for other people.
My hair has never grown very long, ever! Good condition and well groomed is definitely the answer whatever the length. Am seeing the film on Weds, can't wait.
ReplyDeleteHello..Just saw your link at VintageVixen.....HAD to come see your blog:)
ReplyDeleteIm your newest follower.....I love what I have read so far....I NEED this blog, lol:)
Cant wait to see more!
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Oh both. Mine is longer than it has been for years and I am enjoying it that way for the moment. Xxxx
ReplyDeleteI can't understand why we all need the same hair. Or think we need to look like we have 'young' hair. In fact I think the drive for short hair is less to do with gamine and everything to do with hot flush management lol
ReplyDeleteMy hairdresser has a compulsion to dry mine straight, then use straighteners on it. Very shiny - looks like a wig hair. I never use a hairdryer or anything else. I like it to air dry and then go its own way.
I've had everything from a half inch crop, through a bob (hardest work ever) to my present betwixt shoulder and waist mop.
I've been dyeing it since I was 14 and I think like Vintage Vix - my mister wouldn't like a 'lady of a certain age' do on me. I'll stay old and ridiculous.
Also - at the end of the day - its hair... it grows back :)
I read this with interest as I've been wondering if my hair is a bit too long for a 41 year old. I've only had short hair once as a child so I'm used to it and would feel odd now. When I put my Carmen rollers in it looks shorter anyway. I think as you say as long as your hair is in good condition you can wear it long.
ReplyDeleteI've never stuck with the rules. I still wear shorts and mini skirts (with opaque tights of course) and The Actor would hate it if I cut my hair off.
Thanks for the tip on the film. I shall definitely go and see it. I love Annette Bening and Julianne Moore. Hope all's good with you. Let's catch up soon? xx
There is no 'should'.
ReplyDeleteTry something different. Live a little. Have a change.
Wendy & Semi Expat - the fact that they ran this article during Halloween week is no coincidence!
ReplyDeleteCaroline, LBB - yep, La Frostrup is gorgeous.
Hi Collette - thanks for your comment and welcome!
tralala - oh blimey hadn't thought about the potential for hot flush management!
Christina, jaljen and Veshoevius - I agree. Don't stick to the rules, do what suits and live a little.
ReplyDeleteI recently had my hair cut into a bob, a style I have covetted for some time but my hair has always been too wavy.
ReplyDeleteIt look glorious and glossy
BUT
I looked like my mother! I am not ready to look like my mother yets, so it is back to should length with a fringe and layers
I will try again in five years? ;o)
Nearing fifty it is nice to see posts that encourage all lengths of hair. Styling, hair type, lifestyle and personal preference should dictate. I enjoy mine shoulder length or supersuper short. Here, here for maintenance of style, regardless of age!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger I always used to say that Id never have long hair over forty.Now I'm over forty and its fairly long,now I'm wondering if I need to get it cut.
ReplyDeleteI did have it short briefly a couple of years ago and everybody said i looked younger,but I found it much more labour intensive.Being busy long hair is easy to tie up.Which isn't really a valid reason I suppose.
All of you girls should be happy that as you grow older you don't get hair sprouting in your nose and ears like us (poor, poor) men. x
ReplyDeleteI agree that lighter can look younger and also agree on the hair type/condition. Can't wait to see that film - the trailer was good and it's getting great reviews. xx
ReplyDeletehttp://www.weshopthereforeweare.co.uk/
Mariella Frostup's hair is gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on the quality of hair and face shape. Our faces change...so what looked good before may not look as good now or later... works both ways... also depends on neck length.
ReplyDeleteLong hair actually 'frumpifies' :) Annette Bening and always has. She looks sassy with short hair. Julianne though, with short hair, hmmm... no... just no...
Halle Berry looks stunning with long hair BUT... she has a short neck. Short hair 'elongates' her neck.
I don't think age has anything to do with it. That is such an antiquated notion! I read the article and oh the poor woman!
...it's ridiculous that an older woman isn't 'allowed' to make a youthful choice (be it hair or a man!) without being judged for it.
I'm 40 and I love my long hair and intend to keep my long hair as long as it intends to stay on my head! Am also very happy with my silver strands (I don't wear grey).
I lo-ove Julianne Moore! I definitely think the Gloria Hunniford cut is unflattering on older women, it just depends on the style.
ReplyDeleteI dream one day of having a shocking mane of grey hair..
www.isabelleoc.co.uk
Annette's short hair is not a question about age. She wears it short because in the movie she probably plays the male part in the lesbian relationship.
ReplyDeleteI myself wear long hair at age 38. My sis and mum say it is too long because they have always been told woman at a certain age, lets say starting 35, don't wear long hair. I am glad I learn a lot from my stylist who explained it to me -just as you write: of course you can wear long hair when it is healthy. The reason many women wear short haircuts is due to the missing volume, thinning etc. Ever since I started dyeing my hair blonde it became even more voluminous. What I like at a bra-strap lenght.
Thanks for the heads-up - ha ha - about The Hairdressers. I went on Saturday and Guy cut my hair very well indeed. Such a pleasure to find someone so good locally and not to have to schlep in anxious mode into the West End.
ReplyDeletethanks for share of nice information
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